intro paragraph

Panera Bread is; a baker of bread, fresh from the oven, a symbol of warmth and welcome, a simple pleasure, honest and genuine, a life story told over dinner, a long lunch with an old friend, your weekday morning ritual, the kindest gesture of neighbors, home, family, and fiends (Panera Bread). Panera Bread is a restaurant that is between a fast food, and sit-down. Panera Bread has a great atmosphere, food, and is involved with the community. Overall Panera Bread is a good place.


LS- I thought that the opening was good but maybe you need to state your position in thesis more specifically. The intro did make me want to learn more about the place though, even pulling me into somewhat loving this place even though I the reader don’t even know what this place is. Your position did seem arguable to me. Use more specific wording at the end of the intro it was good except for near the end.

AN – Your first paragraph is good overall, you don’t need the semi colon after is in the first sentence. You have an arguable position, however, be careful in using good and great as your words to describe the place as it is somewhat ambiguous in nature. What does good mean, what does great mean? I like all the description you use to set a scene, so we feel what Panera is, but try adding description of what you see at the location.

T.M. – I too like your open paragraph. But I like what A.N. said so u should look at that.